Sunday 21 June 2015

Know your place.

Nicely general-period-pain article about natural relievers in The Independent. Never going to be geared for the terror of endometriosis/adenomyosis pains but still... I dared to glance at the comments. "Man-up" and "stop moaning" and "anything for a quiet life" said by men who were, I think, trying (and failing) to be funny.

When it comes to "normal" period pains, I expect they hurt. I wish they didn't. I wish that they didn't hurt or disrupt plans and exciting times.
I only ever had endometriosis period pains, and the ones I had were (as you may know by now) so appalling and all-consuming that I had to have about 100mg of morphine every day, not just with periods. Every. damned. day.

Point: my Dad was and is not all ewwww and icky and "get on with it" when it came to periods and women's things. He could see how awful it was for me and didn't shy away from comforting or helping when needed. He empathised. He cared. He loved. (Past tense because of post-period era.)

I have some of the most kind and empathetic-to-period/end-trouble male friends I've known. Mark, Simon, Wombat, Lucas, Stephen, to name only several. They have been infinitely more kindly about it all than some female (now-former) friends. ("Have you tried walking when you're on?")

The dismissers are so empty when it comes to empathy and kindness. Obviously. Baffles me. I'm referring to these dismissers here and throughout, and absolutely not all men.

Still seeing so much beautifully-misfired misogyny and sexism on a subject which was hidden and played down (and still is) by the people in charge (i.e. men) shows that the mindsets of those blinkered dismissingers are SO FAR in the past, so opposed to feminism/equalism that they  embarrass themselves with such lack of education. Some said they thought women who have period pains should be grateful that there are painkillers and medications that help some women.


Really? Is that meant to make me rethink my humility? Or put my pain in to perspective? Someone else is OK? Great. We all feel so much better now you made us see it like that. Haven't we been silly?

And the number of times endometriosis-related pains have been apparently-wilfully ignored by doctors - played down, underestimated, plainly ruled out as even existing - can surely only add to that idea of "it's just a regularly-occurring thing that you all have to live with so why are you still complaining?". All for attention. Obviously. We love it.

"You told us it's a taboo subject so we don't talk about it" - "you"? You mean, women? Why is it taboo? Who said it was? And when? Many years ago? When women were not allowed to vote or work? Equality? Pah. Should stay where they belong. Because men said so?

By that way of thinking, does that mean that all women are to blame for you having a problem with talking or hearing about wombs, and bleeding, and sanitary towels, and stained knickers and bedsheets and pyjamas, and the fucking PAIN OF IT ALL? That's not women's faults. Blame blame blame. Don't you ever stop?

If you find a natural solution to your pains, I truly am glad for you. To have a seemingly well-meaning boy tell women so matter-of-factly that "there are options" for treating period pains... it's so unbelievable that it's hilfuckingarious.

[Edit: on 07.08.2018, I removed part of a paragraph, as knowledge and opinion changed re that subject. Learning equals humility. I was wrong.]

1 comment:

  1. Great post. As usual. You should post more.


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