Monday, 18 June 2012
The Guest Blog Post
Knowing how it feels to be unwell a lot of the time, or at least not great, is really quite rubbish. If you know someone who experiences similar or the same feelings, it's good. But still rubbish, because you know they suffer, too. When a friend (and my former home tutor) introduced me - by way of those postal letter things - to a girl call Lynsey (who she also tutored at home), none of us would know how important that meeting would come to be in our lives. The friendship that evolved would become one of the most special in my life, and continues to be so.
Lynsey is my first EVAH guest blogger *erupts in applause and throws someone's pants on stage in celebration* and here, she tells you a little of her life, my life, and our lovely and very solid friendship.
When Lucy first asked if I would be her first guest blogger I was completely chuffed and then mildly scared; Lu has a lot of followers and is a stickler for grammar and spelling – I'm not very good at these but my followers generally don't seem to mind my grammatical faults. But I know Lu loves me as much as I do her so she'll forgive my down falls.
That's the thing about true friendships; they're tested by annoying habits as much as they are by big life events, but sometimes these life changing times are those that bring you the best friendships.
I met Lucy via our home tutor 13 years ago, we were awkward teens, Lucy would be quiet in her shyness; I on the other hand wouldn't shut up. Who'd have known that these polar opposite personalities would become such firm buddies and still have a strong bond even if we don't see each other for months on end. Our friendship is almost a two fingered salute at Endometriosis and RSD/CRPS, they may bring us down, but the pain brings us friends who build us back up again.
So many of my friendships have bore the same beginning, I've met some the best people I know from support groups, hospital stays and even my medical team have continued to be in my life way after treatment. Despite all the pain I may go through, as does Lucy and many of you – her readers, there is a silver lining to it all.
Unfortunately with everything there is a flip side to this said silver lining, a black cloud that descends over a friendship. Even without illness, you must have all experienced - that friend - the one who doesn’t want to be there when times get tough, the one who can't understand why you just don't get over yourself and move on. These are known as toxic people in my book, because to be a true friend you must take the good and the bad, even if that bad takes weeks, months, years or is a condition or illness that lasts a life time.
I'll put my hands up, sometimes my issues/illness/family problems have taken president over my friendships; but those who know me, recognize it's never out of malice or spite, it's the simple fact my concentration is directed another way for the time being.
I'm often asked would I take away my disability; it's a hard one to answer; I'd like to be rid of the pain but then that same pain as made me who I am today and I'm quite happy with that; would I have changed the experiences, the life lessons or the friends I’ve made – the answer would simply be – "Ah, Hell no!!
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